Just Cry

It's funny how so often when I'm praying about something or working through something I feel God speaking to me through the words or a song...today is one of those days.

I was listening to the most recent Mandisa album and the song "Just Cry" came on.  I have been working through a lot of different feelings, emotions and thoughts over the course of the last while and have found myself being frustrated and angry and guilty for what I am feeling and for things that I think I should want to do but can't find the emotional strength to accomplish.  I know that all sounds very vague to you but for me personally it's been a rough couple of months.  My faith in God is strong and my time with Him is more precious than ever.  But I find myself in a place where I am unable to do the things I know in my heart and in my mind I should do and want to do.  And I am finding it hard to give myself time and to have the patience to allow myself to work through these things and to heal.  At times I am completely broken and at other times I am angry and want to rail against the world and all that it does.

I know you know your Sunday songs
A dozen verses by memory
Yeah they're good but life is hard
And days get long
You gotta know God can handle your honesty
So feel the things your feeling
Name your fears and doubts
Don't stuff your shame and sadness, loneliness and anger
Let it out, let it out

God wants us to come to Him with anything and everything.  All of our emotions are okay and necessary.  He created us in His image and if you look throughout scripture all of the emotions you feel, God has exhibited and felt too.  There's no sin in feeling those emotions, the error comes in what we do with those emotions.  And walking through those feelings often takes time and patience and a determination to continue to live our lives in a way that is pleasing to Him rather than carrying out on our emotions in a negative way.  Sometimes when it feels like we will never get through we can place guilt on ourselves that we are not getting past or through it fast enough.  But God has a purpose in everything He leads us through and so we need to remember that when we are walking through fire it is for the purpose of refinement and we need to allow ourselves to go through each step.

You don't need to run
You don't need to speak
Baby take some time
Let those prayers roll down your cheek
It maybe tomorrow
You'll be past the sorrow
But tonight it's alright
Just cry
Just cry

And let go of the guilt and feelings that makes you think you don't trust enough, or that you aren't believing enough or that you don't know He has it all in control.  There are times where we will know all of those things in our hearts but it takes a bit longer to work it all out in our heads.

It doesn't mean you don't trust him
It doesn't mean you don't believe
It doesn't mean you don't know
He's redeeming everything.